It dawns on me sometimes, that I dont come home to the sound of honking cars anymore, the busyness of the 24/7 convenient store just one floor below us, staying up late and having strong conversations with my brother about realities and religion; nor to invitations to creative local bazars, or cheesecake dates with my mom, and sharing life with people Ive known for most of my existence.
Now, a 7-hour bus ride does not overwhelm me. I see horses everyday and my perspective of traffic has been radically changed since. I now come home to a city that sleeps; to a place where tourists come and go, but still quiet in totality. I may come home to people that I have just known for over a year, or less, but it has never felt like that. I guess what I wanted to say was, where I am now, I do not want to claim that I am enduring it here, or say, surviving. No. Never.
Today, I celebrate His faithfulness, and goodness over my life. There was not a day that I have not felt His tangible love over me. Missing home is a reality I cannot shut down, nor silence. I miss home. I miss coming home to my family, my life friends, the city that gave birth to me. But I also found a home where God has placed me now. And I am, and will forever be grateful.
I guess I don’t have to figure out where I feel most at home. He said, “Where I am, You are home.”
And that’s enough comfort to keep me steady.