Having turned, I saw. | Part 3


3. HAVE YOU GAZED LONG ENOUGH?

        The Lord asked me this, one morning, being three weeks in the Internship. It pierced my heart and just messed me up all over again. It’s one thing to gaze, and it’s another thing to gaze longer and in steadfastness. 

        It was in the Internship that the Lord reminded me of how I started in this journey with Him, and highlighted moments in which I said YES. He reminded me of that moment where I finally said NO MORE to living a life of compromise and values that painted double standards. Those turning points, those moments where I have been “Born again, again” are those moments where I found myself most vulnerable. And those were the times I have come to the end of myself. So it’s true, those times where you come to the end of yourself, is where God begins. In the beauty of surrender, I have found grace and mercy in the eyes of the One that has relentlessy pursued my heart, until my love became voluntary. Oh, the beauty of awakened love!
I have realized that those moments where I said “Yes” were always in complete response to His faithfulness and commitment to me. And so this question arose out of a hungry and a yearning heart wanting to walk in wholeheartedness and radical pursuit of Him. Beholding Jesus is more than necessary; it is a daily, intentional response to His love and a lifestyle we all should be walking in.

Surely, if I have gazed long enough, I would not have been distracted by the options the world generously offers. If I have gazed long enough, then it is apparent that my values and lifestyle would be aligned to the truth of His Word. If I have gazed long enough, then my love would utterly be expressed in joyful obedience before Him; which I have once again discovered, is gloriously possible in light of steadfastly gazing into His eyes of fire.
Those eyes; those eyes that have pierced through my being–both in complete tenderness and fiery love. I am continuously captivated by His gaze towards me. And I know gazing back will strengthen every strand of my being with a tenacious desire to reach and grab hold of the beauty He exudes. 
It is my prayer that we will never lose wonder of this Beautiful Man. This will be our sustenance– gazing steadfastly and as long as we can, into His eyes and beholding His beauty that will remain, even when everything else fades into existence.

It is in the constant choosing to gaze into those eyes that would allow us to step into fullness. This is our portion and what a glorious privilege to partake of this promise– to fully embrace loving Him and being loved by Him. We were made for love, for gazing, for fullness. 

Oh that He may find Faithful and Fiery Ones gazing back at Him when His eyes look to and fro across the earth. And that we would find our hearts burning aflame because we have given those eyes permission to consume and purge us of things that do not deserve a place in our hearts.

One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple. | Psalm 27:4 ESV

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