I love how the Father tenderly speaks and affirms us of His purposes in our lives. Earlier during our Devotional set in The Prayer Room, I had a dose of this ‘Real Talk’ with Abba and I couldn’t think of any word to describe such moments than for it to be a ‘holy moment’ between me and Him. When He gives instruction, there’s no better response than to listen intently, hear Him out and obey (And yes, ask questions too– He loves it when we ask! ). Although, the reality is, it’s all easier said than done, I tell you.
When He begins to speak of things that seem impossible for you to take on, it scares you a bit, shakes your sanity and makes you ask multiple questions– mostly directed towards your capacity and ability to actually get it done. It’s simply our human tendency to look at our limitations and weaknesses and then doubt if we really are the ones called to do the task at hand. But know that the Lord does not ask us to do something that He knows we can’t do. He believes in us more than us believing in ourselves. Jesus is the Ultimate Cheerleader and Encourager of our hearts. Truth is, He desires to partner with us in every Kingdom endeavor. He uses the weak things of this world to carry out His plans. He uses the weak things, foolish things of this world to shame the wise. And this wisdom will only be justified when He comes back. Oh what a glorious Day of Revelation and Redemption it will be!
There’s freedom in knowing that He is overwhelmed at our weak yes and broken Hallelujahs. He loves it when we make a worship decision when we are caught in the mires of trials, and the whirlwinds of our daily routines. He longs to turn things around for us. His heart gets gripped at the sight of His children looking to their Father, fully dependent on Him for everything. He will not stop until He finds no more tinge of self-sufficiency in our system. He is moved, not by need, but by hunger and by desperation for the deeper things of Him.
And so as I was in this ‘moment’ with Him, I caught myself being in a state of disbelief at some point, maybe more like surprised, since I felt another wall around me broke down. I tell you, beloved ,something exploded inside of me. My human mind resounded a big NO, but everything about me wanted to just give in, in sweet surrender to Him. In the depths of my heart, I know that when My Father begins to speak, He does not speak out of spite, neither out of compulsion. He has seen the end from the beginning and He definitely has my best interests in mind. Abba has gone before me, and He knows the way to go. This conversation went on and He wanted me to take another step of vulnerability before Him. As having walked closely with Him and having a clear direction from my standpoint now as to what to do next has helped me deal with uncertainties in this season. And yet He wanted me to take this ‘trust’ part another notch higher. All the decision-making from here on would still be in a posture of submission and humility towards the leadership I am accountable to. I don’t know if you’re even getting this but to keep it simple, in where I am now, I don’t call the shots. Abba and I have already discussed this and He ended up winning the wrestling match and I believe that I will end up winning too, because I will press on and will not give up nor quit. What a heartfelt challenge this will be and I might just come out with a limp and maybe experience a good kind of pain for me to remember it.
Today, as I finally figured out why He wanted me to once again let loose and just live out a life of total abandonment towards Him, there I found my release. He lovingly asked me to entrust my timeline this season with the people I am partnering in the ministry now. In the depths of my heart, I already know the answer, but He wanted me to learn to trust these fellow pilgrims and allow them to have this beautiful privilege of calling out His purposes in my life. Wow. I always say that out of this specific season where I’m in now, more than the external outcomes,results or win moments, it’s all about what He has done inside of me and have yet to do is what really matters. How He has simply brought me to a place of humility before Him, daily teaching me the beauty of submission and a life of wholehearted obedience to Him,I have discovered that this is all for me to KNOW HIM more; He has seized my heart to gaze on His beauty and worth and has captivated me to revel in the pleasures of His presence. This has definitely transformed me. I haven’t really thought of it, til’ now. He has so far just removed every hindrance in my life that would seek to exalt itself above His glorious intentions over my heart. He has overcome my heart and He is constantly pursuing me, day in and day out wooing me, and just letting Him love on me.
And so this journey continues, and I am all the more ready for what may spring up in the next few days. My heart is expectant for series of ‘holy moments’ where walls that need to be broken down, crash to the ground in an instant, where my childish questions are answered with wit and grace, where my limitations are canceled, and where I feel my Father enjoying me as the object of His love and affection. This is where I belong and this is where I want to stay. His presence is simply life to me and it is in these moments that I get to dig deeper in the beauty of who He is, and then I get to see how small I am, yet favored and handpicked to carry out His world-changing purposes.
His grace is more than enough for me, as it is for you.
“For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”
Ephesians 3:14-21 NKJV